You next to me equals my immortal
by Hikaru-and-Kaoru-Love
Summary: Love is a painful emotion to feel especially if your Kaoru and you love your brother. what happens to Kaoru when he just cant take the pain anymore? Will Hikaru be there to solve everything, OR will he be to late?


A tear fell on my cheek as I saw my brother bringing Haruhi down to the dance floor, I then quickly wiped it away.

He held her white gloved hand and everyone just stared at them in amazement, while I looked at them in woe.

She wore a white ball dress with silver diamonds on the bottom. She looked like an Asian version of Cinderella, she looked really beautiful, but that was the problem; she's beautiful with a beautiful personality which is exactly why my brother fell in love with her.

At this time everyone knew that she was a girl.

As the spotlight was drawn to them, music started to play. It was a song that I was very familiar with…

**I'm so tired of being here****  
><strong>**Suppressed by all my childish fears****  
><strong>**And if you have to leave****  
><strong>**I wish that you would just leave****  
><strong>**Your presence still lingers here****  
><strong>**And it won't leave me alone**

Another tear fell down my cheeks, this song always made me cry, but it's not the song that's making me cry, its how Hikaru and Haruhi danced with one another.

The lights were closed, and this white light casted on just them two, this song had so much passion in it, I want to be the one that Hikaru holds, I want to be the one Hikaru whispers sweet words to. I want to be the one next to Hikaru forever even after death…

**These wounds won't seem to heal****  
><strong>**this pain is just too real****  
><strong>**there's just too much that time cannot erase**

My heart hurt so much, the song just kept on going and the pain just kept on coming.

My eyes watered and my vision got blurry,

I pulled a hand out to Hikaru, a hand that would not be caught…

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears****  
><strong>**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears****  
><strong>**And I held your hand through all of these years****  
><strong>**But you still have****  
><strong>**All of me**

The chorus part is what reminded me of what Hikaru used to do for me when he used to love me…

The funny thing about this is that I still love him, but different from him…I'm in love with him while he just loves me as a brother, and never nothing more…

**You used to captivate me****  
><strong>**By your resonating light****  
><strong>**Now I'm bound by the life you left behind****  
><strong>**Your face it haunts****  
><strong>**My once pleasant dreams****  
><strong>**Your voice it chased away****  
><strong>**All the sanity in me**

I sobbed harder and harder as this song went by, I fell onto my knees, and felt my chest tighten as the tears feel to the ground

There were some people who came around me to see what was wrong but all I told them was that I was fine and that I was searching for something. They nodded and went to going back to watch Hikaru and Haruhi's dance.

**These wounds won't seem to heal****  
><strong>**this pain is just too real****  
><strong>**there's just too much that time cannot erase**

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears****  
><strong>**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears****  
><strong>**And I held your hand through all of these years****  
><strong>**But you still have****  
><strong>**All of me**

I stood up and started to run to the exit, I couldn't take the pain anymore, not anymore…it was just too unbearable.

I called for a taxi and told that person to drive me home…

**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone****  
><strong>**But though you're still with me****  
><strong>**I've been alone all along**

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears****  
><strong>**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears****  
><strong>**And I held your hand through all of these years****  
><strong>**But you still have****  
><strong>**All of me**

**Hikaru's POV**

The song ended and everyone clapped.

We bowed but I felt my chest tighten, and when my chest tightens it's always because I feel something bad is happening.

I looked around and found out that I couldn't find Kaoru.

They started to play some music for everyone to elegantly dance to, and as they all started to dance, I walked out of the crowd and quickly walked to the exit.

I looked around outside and couldn't find Kaoru…now I was getting worried.

I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I turned around to see Haruhi; she was smiling "You did a great job out there."

I smiled back "Thanks, you too."

"Thanks, so are you okay?"

"Well not really, I have a feeling that something bad is going on and I can't find Kaoru."

"Oh Kaoru I saw him taking a taxi during the dance."

I looked confused but shoved it off; I had to go see what was going on with Kaoru.

I gave her a goodbye hug and called a taxi. Yea I know we're rich but the limo driver just takes forever, and I'm not waiting that long.

Nine minutes passed until I arrived home, I ran out the taxi, and slammed the door open "KAORU!"

There was nothing but silence, I ran up the stairs and into our bedroom.

I slammed the door open "KAORU!"

There was no noise and no one.

I looked around the room to see if there was any sign of Kaoru being here, then I saw a note that said my name, lying on our desk

I walked to it and opened it up.

**Dear Hikaru **

**If you're reading this note then that means I'm gone…**

**Gone from the world, the loneliness, and the pain.**

**And if you're wondering what I mean from gone I mean dead…**

**Yes dead…**

**Hikaru I love you, and please don't think as a brother, I love you more than a brother**

**I love you so much**

**Please don't be upset with me**

**I just couldn't live without you.**

**Tonight I saw you dancing with Haruhi, and realized you will never hold me, or look at me, or whisper sweet words to me like you do to her because you love her…not me.**

**These are my last words to you…**

**I love you Hikaru**

**Forever your brother Kaoru.**

I fell to my knees and started cry.

I screamed and ripped the paper apart.

I stood up and ran out the garden to look to see if he was there and maybe…just maybe…still alive.

I ran downstairs and out to the garden.

My heart stopped and I walked closer to the body that lay on the grass.

The leaves covered his blood, so he looked like he was sleeping; I looked up the mansion, and figured that he must have jumped out the window.

I knelt down next to him and started to cry, I knew from the moment I read that note that it was my entire fault.

Kaoru was now gone…how could I live without Kaoru…HOW?

I can't live without Kaoru…I just can't.

I looked up the sky and smiled, and then I bug up a knife I buried when me and Kaoru was playing this game called dig up whatever you could find in the kitchen.

"Kaoru, when did I ever say that I loved Haruhi?"

I took out the knife "Just because I dance with a girl doesn't mean I've fallen in love."

I placed the knife to my chest "The one that I've always loved was you Kaoru…it was always you."

I stabbed myself in the chest and fell right next to Kaoru.

As I lay there I coughed up blood "Kaoru here…here I come, I won't be long don't worry."

I grabbed Kaoru's hand and died right next to the one I loved.

You next to me doesn't make us dead...you are my immortal and i am yours...we'll be with one another forever.

* * *

><p><strong>I really hoped you liked this story, and i know, i need to publish the next chapter for Kaoru get pregnant, but my brain isn't functioning correctly with that chapter, i'm trying to put some drama into it so i'm trying to think of what to write. so to pay all of you for the long amount of time it will take me to write that chapter, and other chapters, i'll write some new stories for you guys and hopefully i get some ideas in my head :) still hoped you liked this story. Until next time. Sayonara! <strong>


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